Making work work

We spend a huge amount of our lives at work, but how often do we stop and think about our relationship with it? For some people, work is a vocation and a source of purpose and energy. For others, it is simply a job that pays the bills. And sometimes, the line between the two can become blurred. In this episode, Clare Prendergast and Aileen Gonsalves explore what happens when work starts to take over – and how we can think differently about the choices we make.

They discuss the feeling of being trapped in a job, particularly when financial commitments, dependants or years of investment make changing direction seem impossible. They explore the idea of reframing work as a choice, even when it isn't necessarily the work we would have chosen for ourselves. Looking at what a job provides outside of work – from paying the bills to making other parts of life possible – can sometimes change how we relate to it.

The conversation also looks at creating a working life that fits who we are. Clare and Aileen discuss how careers can change, how people can discover that a job they imagined would suit them doesn't, and how making your own opportunities can bring a sense of freedom and creativity. They also consider how working from home has changed relationships between colleagues and the experience of work itself.

But what happens when we don't just work for a living, but start living for work? Clare and Aileen explore workaholism and the ways work can become a distraction from difficult parts of life. They discuss how easy it is to neglect sleep, food, exercise, friendships, family and health when work becomes the priority – particularly when working hard is often praised and rewarded by the people around us.

They also turn to the relationships we have a work. Colleagues aren't people we necessarily choose to have in our lives, and workplaces can involve complicated dynamics around friendship, hierarchy, power and boundaries. The conversation explores what to do when someone gives us unwanted attention, particularly when that person has more authority or influence, and why noticing that something feels uncomfortable is an important first step.

And then there are the feelings we don't necessarily expect to develop at work. Aileen talks about experiencing unrequited feelings for colleagues, while Clare considers the balance between protecting ourselves from rejection and being so cautious that we never take a risk. They also discuss the awkwardness that can follow when friendships, promotions and workplace loyalties collide.

Throughout the episode, Clare and Aileen return to the importance of choice – noticing how we feel, pausing before automatically responding and asking ourselves what we actually want. Rather than seeing work and life as completely separate, they consider how the two continually affect each other.

The episode ends with a thought from Rumi: “work is love made visible.” For Clare and Aileen, it offers another way of thinking about work – not as a separate box from the rest of our lives, but as something that inevitably connects with our relationships, wellbeing, purpose and sense of who we are.